It’s
been considerably a long time (4 months) since I’ve updated my blog. Probably
I’ve been searching for a suitable content to post, but couldn’t found. Now I’m
posting about myself, the things that occurred to me and by me in between one
and a quarter years (as the title indicates). I couldn’t have posted this, if
the year had gone as I expected. But, why would I be here if everything (at
least few of them) went in the way I’d trod on. Let me recap the year(s) that
gone by.
No
doubt the year 2012 was an annus mirabilis for all, because it is the host for
many major events to take place. Even I’d anticipated many things to be done in
this year at least for me. The New Year was kicked-off with full vigor and
brand new hopes by sloughing off the dreadful and unfavorable situations of the
previous years apart and continuing the optimistic view of the things. The
prime things that I set for this year were leaving the work and continuing the
education though both are interdependent. This whole year I embarked on a
journey that made me to land in the same place where I was earlier. According
to the Physics the total work done was a naught, a zero. The journey was “Acing
the CAT and getting into any of the IIMs (mostly old ones)”. In January, I just
devised my own strategy to tackle the CAT, but I didn’t make any other
alternatives. What if I not clear the CAT? What if my journey ended without
reaching the destination? There are many options out there like XAT, IIFT etc.
which give you almost the same level of institutions to pursue the business
education. I didn’t even think of them. I totally engrossed in the CAT. How
foolish I was? I became a monomaniac, a nerd, a person who lacks harmony with
other things except with one. In the interim, I missed a lot of fun, a lot of
things to learn, few of the friends and many invaluable things.
After
sketching the layout for my plan I started to unfold the preparation in a
piecemeal. I made my CAT gambit by learning the vocabulary. Started with the
gargantuan word list it was ended with taking the most uncertain CAT with many
revisions, mocks and reviews in between. In February, I took my massive word
list book out and glared at it as if it can be completed though reading
regularly. In the incipient stages, I managed to read 50 words per day (not entire
day but only 1-1.5 hrs) but as the days gone, I increased my pace to 100 per
day and completed the book somehow in mid March. Even though I did take the
letter-tests, I couldn’t take the whole WL tests and I don’t know how many I
could remember. I was just rejoicing myself for getting rid of the tedious word
crunch. Then there was a lull in the regular activity to decide between Quants
and Verbal to start with. Eventually, I moved to Verbal to get a hold on it
since it was my weak area and left the Quants behind (though not completely).
Actually, I don’t have any good book for Verbal, so I purchased one which I’d
thought suitable. Later I realized that some topics are too easy to tackle
with, comparing the level of difficulty in the actual CAT. I also referred some
online material which is freely available in few of the sites. That really
helped me. In the Verbal section I always used to get mixed score with many ups
and downs like an undulating tide. One thing that is peculiar to me (which I
don’t like) is “Sometimes, I am too optimistic, turn out to be a Pollyanna
rather” and I think why my score wouldn’t be on upside in the actual exam. Having
this kind of notion, I didn’t take that wave-like score as a serious issue, but
in the long term it became hard for me. I became complacent when I reach the
other end of the book, questions were easy and I got most of them right.
Simultaneously, I started off the Quants also, but dedicated most of the time
to Verbal. As Quants was my forte, I spent less time on it comparing to Verbal.
With a positive feeling I wound up preparing for Quants as well as for Verbal.
But one has to know that there is no such ending when preparing for the most
elusive CAT. Instead it should end with taking the CAT and clearing the GD
& PI. You ought to cover every tiny topic as there is no concrete syllabus
pattern. I planned to order other books, but there was no sufficient time. In
the mean time, I received the material from one of the online preparation sites
(needless to mention the name). I couldn’t complete even this material. There
were two reasons to this. One was the number of books I’d poured in for my
preparation and the second one was my smugness and the monotony of preparation.
I must confess one more thing that
fostered my preparation- Work in the office. Till June, I had no burden of work
(thanks to the facile tasks that I got). But after that it got increased
gradually.
July
was looming over. I had not yet started taking the mocks which is the core part
of any preparation. Then I registered myself in one of the major coaching
centers for the CAT. Already three of the mocks were over by the time I’d regd.
In the initial mocks (three to four) my performance was abysmal. I didn’t even
think of those figures of scores. Later, I started knowing my Achilles’ heel and
initialized the healing process. After this process I used to get some good manageable
scores and percentiles. But still something was wrong. I had to bridge the gap
that inhibiting my performance. In the mocks I had been concentrating only on
certain topics that I feel easy to manage. In order to get good %iles I had to confront
the topics that were alien to me. I started to revise the entire syllabus once
again. On weekends I could take the mocks and on week days revision. It was
continued till the end. In few of the tests I got as high as 97 and 98 which
are barely enough for one to land in the IIMs. Anyhow I too could see that magic
figures. I conjured up many things of getting into the IIM and completing my
Business education. After some mocks these figures getting vanished and all I
could see were the mediocre numbers, lackluster performance and my wretched condition.
I thought what on earth could appease me? What brings back my heydays? Which things
re-invigorate me? Then I head to my
native place as it was a long time since I had been there. I missed couple of
the mocks which when I was in my native place. I thought of taking them there
only, but could not. When I returned to the place where I’m currently living, I
almost forgot all the techniques and tips of the exam. Later I regained them
through the process of mocks and revision. After few more mocks I got two back
to back big numbers which hitherto I didn’t see and I couldn’t even think of. In
was in the top hundred (in the country). These were things that brought back my
life. Three quarters of the mocks were over and left with a handful.
Percentiles were again reaching the troughs and my morale was getting down.
Then came the mind blowing CAT. I put my exam on the last before day. Reviews were started to post on the web
sites. There was a mixed response on the difficulty level though there were no surprises
in the paper pattern. This was the time to maintain the composure and the
equanimity. The last couple of mocks had gone smoothly. I had also taken the
missed mocks (not all) though with little seriousness. I was off to work for
almost a week before my date. Finally, the most awaiting day of the year came
in.
On
the day of the exam, I tried to be as cool as possible. After that lot of
traditional process, I sat in my place of exam with a computer terminal in
front of me and surrounded by fellow exam takers. During the exam, at least in
the first session, I thought I was doing well. But when the following session
appeared, things look dark. But, I came out of the centre with a positive
feeling. Later I discussed the paper with my friend and I was shocked. Out of
the four to five Q’s we discussed I’d made two of them wrong. I decided not to
discuss the remaining whatever I could remember. Still I was in full hope of
getting the magic numbers. Things to be done had piled up at my work place. I
took up the work seriously and started to finish it up in the stipulated time.
One and half months were gone. Another day
of anticipation had come. Results were out. I didn’t see immediately. I headed to
the office and handed over my number to one of my friends. A blow, a big blow…
I
couldn’t. The useless number, not even nearer to the number I wanted
to see. I wouldn’t be in the list. A mere 94- %ile. Future looked bleak. What
left for me to do? My one year of efforts, sleepless nights, joyless days became
futile. I was in vain. What actually happened? Lack of profound analysis of the
mocks, not being time-bound and the wicked smugness. Yes, at times I was
engulfed in smugness when I got those big numbers. Gone is gone. I regretted
myself for some days and things were normal again. I yet to decide my future
course. For three months after the big blow, I let the time go in idle. I did
nothing apart from going to work and coming from work neither did I go to
hometown. I don’t know what to do. I was failed once. Should I try again or Is
it better to take the different path? I pondered over what to do. Then I got
the famous apothegm from Thomas A. Edison…
“I
have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work”. Why should I
give up when others are trying multiple times? I never indeed I will not.
This
time I have not yet started but will start soon. This time I’ll made it fail-proof
by selecting eclectic range of choices, rather than mulling over one subject.
"Open the window. It's a big world out
there!"
